When we give the behavioral feedback we have to focus on the offensive
act and not the person who did the offensive act. But before doing that we have
to find an appropriate place where we can civilly talk with the concerned
direct report. The appropriate place
could be in your office or a place where there is privacy and solemnity.
Be calm, objective and civil when you talk about the errant behavior so
that you avoid antagonizing the person. Some managers do this without
considering calmness, objectivity and civility. Hence they lecture the guilty
person as if the concerned individual is their slave. So what happens is the
concerned will push back and defend herself. This can happen most especially if
the direct report has a strong personality.
After talking about the errant behavior allow the person to speak and
voice her sentiment and as she speaks listen with your attention poured into
her. Your expectation here is she would talk also with calmness, civility and
objectivity. Why? For the simple reason that this is how you approached the
concerned person. We have to remember that we get what we give: If we give respect
we would also get respect and vice versa.
Close the one on one conversation on a positive note by telling the
person that she has your back anytime. Ever ready to listen whenever she has
issues about work or even issues about his/her family. - Marino J. Dasmarinas
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