Never capitalize on the vulnerability of a woman

There is a story about a married man and woman co-workers. The married man was newly transferred to the office where the married woman works. To make a long story short they somehow built a friendship, the woman would tell her life and office travails to the married man and vice versa.

Sensing her vulnerability, the married man violated the boundary that an Honorable and Godly man would not dare violate. Instead of simply listening and giving her advice and cutting it off right there to prevent the deepening of emotional ties between the two of them.

He instead transgressed the demarcation line that separates Honorable, Godly and Good men against wicked, bestial and devious men. To satisfy his wicked desire he pounced, captured and conquered the susceptible woman.

But how are you going to avoid this kind of sinful relationship that could even destroy you, your family and your marriage? If you’re a woman you have to be aware of this kind of situation. If you feel that you’re sinfully falling for a married man cut it off immediately otherwise you’ll get burned, be destroyed and may even be left with nothing.

If you’re a man never ever violate the norms of virtuous and good men. Never intrude into a territory that is not yours! Never take advantage of the vulnerability of a married woman else you will pay it with your life if the husband has a violent mind!  If the husband has a gentle and peaceful mind and would simply let go and let God. The unfolding of time will surely make you pay for it deeply and severely eventually. 

Whether we admit it or not adulterous, immoral and unethical relationships are happening inside the workplace environment. These relationships which violates the norms of ethics, morality and civility are usually initiated by men. Men whose real mindsets are hideous, evil and as low as the belly of the snake.

Wicked men who thinks that they can get away with the evil that they’ve done. Nonetheless, there’s no free ride in this world when it comes to evil deeds. If they’ll escape the judgment of this world, they’ll surely not escape the judgment of God.  – Marino J. Dasmarinas    

An Effective and good Manager/Leader is a good Listener

There is story about a father who was so focused on his responsibility to provide for his family. He would go to work early and go back home late. And his reason is he simply wants to provide the best that he could provide to his family that’s why he works doubly hard.

But in the process of working hard he was slowly but surely detaching himself from his wife and his children. There was limited personal interactions with them. Why? For the simple reason that he has no more time to listen to them. 

In an organizational setup a manager/leader should also be a good listener. What does this mean? This means that the leader/manager should allocate a portion of his time to listen to his subordinates to matter how busy he is.

The reason behind is through listening you will know the soul of your subordinates. Through listening you would also know the unseen events that happens in your organization which could have implication upon your leadership.

What would happen when you listen to your subordinates? They will look up to you and respect you more; they will see in you a mother or a father figure. Whom they can run into for support when something is bothering their minds.

What is the reward of this on your part as a leader/manager?  Your further cement your image as a good and effective manager/leader: A manager who listens and empathize to the plight of your subordinates.

Through listening you also make your job easier because your will gain the respect, loyalty and cooperation that any leader/manager would want from his subordinates. – Marino J. Dasmarinas  

Stopping sexual harassment in the workplace

Alicia is a twenty-eight years old supervisor in a five-star hotel, she was aspiring to become the section manager of the steward department. So she submitted her application together with the pertinent papers required by the higher position.

After a few days her attention was called for an interview by the manager of the hotel. So, she reported to the office of the manager for an interview. During the interview the potbellied and burly hotel manager asked her to stand and come near him. Then he immediately grabbed her behind and salaciously said to her: “You have a nice behind, I want you in bed with me tonight!”

Alicia fiercely answered back, slapped the manager and she said to him: “You bastard you have no right to do it!” I will report you to the president of this hotel and I will also report you to the police for violating me!” The manager begged the woman not to do it but she had already decided to report his acts of sexual harassment.

Sexual harassers could be a man or a woman and it’s not solely about a person’s desire to have sex with his/her prey. Primarily sexual harassment emanates from a person’s desire to dominate a certain individual. Who is applying for a higher position or who is asking for a favor from a person with a higher organizational authority.

Therefore, sexual harassment is actually about individuals who are power trippers! They use their power as a leverage to take advantage of their prospective prey or victim.  It’s actually very hard to be in conflict with them for the simple reason that they are very powerful!

However, if you want to stop these sex maniacs you have no other choice but to have the courage to expose them! Nevermind if you might be ostracized or even if others will not believe you for doing so.

Why is it that you might be ostracized or others will not believe in you? For the simple reason that these sex maniacs are very powerful and they have their own network of very powerful people to even destroy your credibility.

Nevertheless, you have to have the courage to vigorously expose them no matter how powerful they are! For this is the only way that you can stop sexual harassment in the workplace. – Marino J. Dasmarinas

Evidence matters in resolving organizational conflict

Natalie is a middle level manager in a cosmetics organization. She went to their human resource management manager to complain about her fellow middle level manager who is very arrogant. According to her, to think that he is only a middle level manager he pushes his weight around as if he owns the organization that he works for.

Upon talking with the Human Resource Manager, Natalie was asked: Do you have a witness or an evidence to support your complaint? She said, no I don’t have any. She was therefore told to have evidence or even a witness and come back.

The next morning expecting to once again witness his boorish behavior she prepared her smart phone positioned it in a strategic place and turned on the video. After a few minutes her fellow middle level manager’s arrogance was on full display again. And it was captured unadulterated by her strategically placed smart phone.

Therefore, the next day she went back again to the Human Resource Manager presented her video of her fellow middle manager’s full display of arrogance. Consequently, his attention was called and he was asked to explain his unwarranted behavior.  He admitted his mistake and he apologized to those whom he had offended and he promised not to do it again. Accordingly, he was given a disciplinary action and was suspended for one week. 
  

Evidence matters when it comes to resolving organizational issues and conflicts. For the simple reason that when you have an evidence your complaint is already assured of speedy resolution. It also put an iron clad protection to your complaint.

The evidence will likewise immediately put the person being complained in a defensive and weaker position. Which will lead him/her to apologize and accept without question the disciplinary action that is due to him/her. – Marino J. Dasmarinas    

The leader/manager and the Management function of planning

John is a newly appointed department head in a call center company. Upon assuming his position his first activity for the day was to define the goals and plans of his department. He projected in advance the demands of their clients and through his planning he saw to it that his department would be able to meet their client’s future demand.  

What is the importance of planning in a manager’s/leader’s life in the organization? An effective manager/leader uses planning to implement his plans in advance. This plan is not simply based on their whims and caprices it is rather based on sound method, analysis and projection. When a manager/leader uses the management function of planning it should always be realistic and pragmatic.

 Why is it important for a leader/manager to have a plan? It is important for the simple reason that planning helps the manager/leader create a realistic framework of action. Yet this framework of action doesn’t automatically ensure 100% success. However even if it doesn’t guaranty 100% success it’s always better to utilize the function of planning than not to utilize it for how would you move ahead without planning?

Planning also provides a point of reference where actual performance can always be compared vis-a-vis with the planned target. And if the actual performance doesn’t meet the planned target managers/leaders should make the proper adjustment to meet the realistic planned target.   

Planning also determines a future course of action based on the prevailing environment. That’s why it’s very important not to cast in stone our plans. Otherwise we cannot anymore fine-tune our plans when the business environment is against us. Planning should always be a continuing managerial and leadership function. This is for the reason that the moment the manager/leader stops planning his/her life the organization would also come to an end.

Through the management function of planning the hazy and cloudy future is made clearer, brighter and the future that is unknown is somehow made known. – Marino J. Dasmarinas

Dictatorial leaders/managers are not good leaders/managers

Have you worked for a dictatorial leader/manager?

He is the type who would use fear and deceit as his main weapons to make his subordinates follow him. For example, during meetings he would outline the targets that he wants to achieve or the discipline that he wants for his organization. Then he would follow it up with a caveat that those who would not be able to meet their target or follow his discipline would be severely sanctioned.

These kind of bombastic statement would immediately achieve its intended purpose and that is to create fear. But after a few days this feeling of fear would immediately be replaced by a feeling of subtle defiance and resentment towards the leader/manager.

Run of the mill leaders/managers always use this kind strategy to achieve their goals only to be confronted at the end that it does not work. Why is it that it doesn’t work? This is for the reason that when we use fear as our means to achieve our goal/s. It is always subject to abuse and corruption that immediately leads to inefficiency and disruption of the efficient function of the organization. 

However, these type of leader/manager are slowly but surely exposed by their own arrogance and abuse of power. Which sooner or later are seen and observed by subordinates. And these subordinates will not be silenced forever there will come a time that they will voice out their opposition. Which would eventually lead to the removal of their dictatorial leader/manager. – Marino J. Dasmarinas

How to become an effective leader/manager

An Army lieutenant was leading his platoon of soldiers in an operation when they were suddenly ambushed by the enemy. Everyone took cover and firing at the enemy at the same time. They suddenly saw a wounded comrade who was about ten meters away from them shouting for help.

The lieutenant suddenly shouted at his soldiers and said: “Cover fire me and throw smoke grenades because I will go and rescue our comrade.” So they did and the lieutenant stealthy maneuvered his way to the wounded soldier.  Upon reaching his soldier the lieutenant assisted his wounded comrade and they both successfully extricated themselves from the claws of danger.

By the courageous leadership by example of the army lieutenant and with the support of his soldiers. He successfully executed the very dangerous rescue. This army lieutenant is an epitome of a true leader because he shows and leads the way.

In essence organizational leaders are no different from military leaders. What only separates military leaders from organizational leaders are the rigid training and the firearms at their disposal.  Therefore, to become a successful organizational leader/manager one has to show and lead the way and he must know his job very well.

An organizational leader/manager should not only give orders and then do nothing she should be at the forefront so to speak. For example, if the volume of work is enormous that it would need overtime work.  The leader/manager should also render overtime work and lead his subordinates in accomplishing what is to be accomplished.

If the leader/manager always shows and leads the way, he would also quickly earn the respect and admiration of his subordinates. The same subordinates would always be at his beck and call whenever he needs them. Why is this so? For the simple reason that the leader/manager has already earned the respect of his subordinates. 

What if the leader/manager will not lead and show the way? He simply sits down while giving orders and doesn’t take his leadership/managerial position with responsibility. His subordinates will surely not respect him and they will be like headless chickens running around without discipline and purpose. – Marino J. Dasmarinas